Warning: Zombie typing on computer... Many of you were in contact with me yesterday via text, and it seems I was not alone in having "one of those days". Something about a 2 hour delay here in blustery Central Indiana just seemed to set everyone's day off on the wrong boot. After a real adventure-of-a-day, I decided I better get to bed early to avoid having anything else ridiculous happen. The last thing I thought about before lights out at 9:00pm was a sleepless night I had back in October of 2013. I chuckled to myself, "Hah. Good thing I don't have to worry about nights like that anymore!" Not so fast lady...
I was up. all. night. People were crying, laughing in their sleep, coming into my room to tell me they had to pee. The wind was howling as the Polar Vortex settled over the Midwest and created a "monster" noise here in our new house(we've checked and have yet to find a beast of any kind chained in the basement.) Babies were beating on their cribs with pacis, people needed re-tucked in. Again. I was starving around 3am. So on and so forth...
Funny how things work out! Just when I am confident I have a cozy deep slumber ahead of me, life has other plans. This is that night from long ago which originally appeared on another blog I used to write pregnantcrazylady.wordpress.com I don't update it anymore since I am no longer pregnant. Still crazy though. Read if you dare. Just don't jinx yourself like I did.
Good Night and Good Luck. Good Luck Sleeping.
October 15, 2013
Aaaaahhhh, bedtime. A warm bath, a little story, a quiet song. The children nestled all snug in their beds.
Yeah, well it’s nothing like that at my house. It’s more like someone is face down on the floor refusing to go potty one last time and the other someone is scrubbing toothpaste all over the hallway since I didn’t put enough on their toothbrush.
Eventually they do fall asleep and stay asleep. I feel very fortunate to usually be the only mouse about the house, most nights. I believe I have established a beneficial bedtime routine. Which I feel I have the maturity level to actually handle like a responsible adult. Others may disagree. Since my bladder is under assault right now from a very active little boy or girl, I start my evening routine by eliminating most liquids after 6pm. I eat a healthy dinner. Light candles. Go for a walk. Unwind with some television. 20 minutes of relaxing yoga poses. Lightly spray my sheets with lavender. Say my prayers. Read briefly. And out I go. And then up I go. To the bathroom. But some nights, it’s not just the loo calling my name. Here is what happened last night during the wee hours…
10:45pm Lay down in bed.
10:46pm Open my book to read.
10:47pm I’m sound asleep.
11:30pm I am up for bathroom break #1.
12:30am Bathroom break #2
1:22am Quiet “Mommys” coming from Little Brother’s room. I go in and administer a breathing treatment for his wheezing and asthma symptoms that have been acting up.
2:49am “It hurt!!!!! It hurts!!!!” coming from Little Brother’s room. I run in his room assuming he has a dresser or ceiling fan laying across him. Nope. He is just laying in a pool of pee. I change his sheets as quickly as my carpo tunnel fingers will let me. He sits there watching me drop the sheets over and over. An older man would assume I was drunk, not just a numb-handed zombie.
3:39am “Hoot. Hoot.” The giant barn owl my kids were harassing earlier this evening is back to haunt me. I turn my sound machine up louder, but not too loud. I wish it could be “too loud”.
4:01am Bathroom break. Might as well go in and do Little Brother’s breathing treatment early since I’m up.
4:30am “MOMMY!!!!!!!!!” “HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Big Brother this time. He tells me he had a bad dream and that if you “play quietly in your room the sun will actually come up faster”. Nice try.
4:35am I nestle myself back in bed and hope I can get a wee bit of slumber before my alarm goes off.
4:44am “Woof. Woof” Not you too dog! I get up and look at him at the foot of my bed. He is requesting that I lift him onto the bed even though he has a step stool. Is there a conspiracy against me?
4:45am Finally, I hope finally, back in bed next to my snoozing husband. Did I mention there has been a peacefully snoozing husband this whole time?
6:00am My alarm goes off. Shower and head downstairs. Tiptoe downstairs. Make kid’s school lunches, unload dishwasher, lay out everyone’s medicine, make coffee, get breakfast ready, start a load of laundry, etc, etc, and so on…
7:23am Down comes sleeping beauty. Husband performs an overly dramatic stretch/yawn combination. I swear he is standing extra close to me, showing off that he doesn’t have dark circles or even a hint of a bag under his eyes. He scans the kitchen, appears satisfied with himself and asks,
“Did you elbow me last night because I was snoring?”
“Yep. That’s it. That’s all that happened last night”.